“Harry, you are an adult for anal creampie now! You can call us all by our first names. I am Aldus, if you don’t know.” He smiled again, which seemed so different from the stern headmaster Harry remembered. Aldus Dumbledore turned, revealing the man harry hadn’t noticed behind him. “Oh, you remember Argus Filch, don’t you Harry?”
Harry did remember Mr. Filch, cranky caretaker of Hogwarts. He just didn’t expect to see him still here. “Yes, of course. Nice to see you, uh, again Mr. Filch,” Harry said. He almost had said ‘nice to see you still alive for the anal creampie ‘, but didn’t.
“Call me Argus, when the student’s ain’t around,” he said.
“Argus will show you to your room,” Aldus said. “I expect you’ll want to make it home before you turn in.”
“Yes, thank you… Aldus,” Harry replied. It would be difficult to be so personal with a man he so greatly respected.
“This way,” Filch said abruptly, leading Harry out of the Great Hall. Harry was led down to the faculty rooms, and Harry thought he saw Filch speed up to get past Severus Snape’s room. Harry didn’t blame him a bit; he’d want to get past the old goat’s room quickly too. Or should that be ‘Old Snake,’ since Severus Snape seemed to so greatly favor Slytherin, the house whose symbol was an emerald snake.
“Here you are,” said Filch, swinging open a door. Harry saw that his room consisted of a roughly boxlike area, with bare walls, a bookshelf, a desk, and a bed. “Have a nice anal creampie night,” Filch said, closing the door behind him.
Harry got busy, pulling his furnishings out of his valise. In thirty minutes, it was rather comfortable. The rewards Harry got for solving the problems he did had enabled him to buy some rather nice things. The room had probably never been so nicely set up, Harry decided smugly.
He sat on the bed to pull off his shoes when he heard a light tap on his door. He opened it, surprised to see it was Hermione! “Hello, Harry. It’s been a while,” she said in her direct way for the anal creampie.
“Hermione!” he enthused, “Come on in!” He closed the door behind her, and then gave her a quick kiss on each cheek. “It was a fantastic surprise to see you earlier, and I am glad you came by. I was disappointed we didn’t get to have the anal creampie.”