The applause died soon, and Dumbledore began his next introduction. “The other new faculty member this year really doesn’t need any introduction. He became famous for defeating He Who Must Not Be Named as an infant. He beat him four times, finally vanquishing him completely and making our world much safer. But then he has gone on to even greater celebrity, solving sticky problems all over the world. He has been awarded the Order of Merlin First Class, not once but twice. I am proud to say he was a student here, and I welcome him back as Professor in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He is our own Harry Potter!”
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Harry’s face had gotten slightly pink during the flowery introduction. It went beet red as everyone thundered out an overwhelming applause. Hats flew into the air in the jubilation. Harry looked all around, recording the moment in his heart. It was a moment of personal triumph.
The only one not cheering himself hoarse was Prof. Snape. His applause was no more than half-hearted. He had wanted the Defense Against the Dark Arts position since before Harry attended Hogwarts. He now had even more reason to hate Harry.
After order was restored, the feast began. Harry always had enjoyed the feasts as a youth, since it meant you could eat all you wanted (a definite plus after living with the Dursley’s during the summer, where he would have starved to death if they had got their way). But now, he wanted it over so that he could approach Hermione for the anal creampie. Not only had he missed her, but he now had more adult reasons to renew their anal creampie sex.
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As soon as the meal was over, though, Harry was besieged by admirers. Hermione did try to get to him, but there was literally a crowd of children surrounding Harry. Finally, with a rueful smile and mouthed “I’ll catch you later.” She disappeared beyond the throng, disappointing Harry more than he would have guessed.
Finally, though, the crowd dissipated, and Harry suddenly realized he didn’t know where he was to sleep! As if on cue, Prof. Dumbledore appeared at his elbow. “I am so very glad you agreed to join our anal creampie party,” he said. “You will be a great asset here.” He shook Harry’s hand warmly, a somewhat sly expression on his face. “Its nice to have someone so likeable keeping a close watch on anal creampie things.”
Harry turned pale. Was that an intentional double entendre? “Uh, yes, of course,” he stammered. Did Prof. Dumbledore want him to watch their anal creampie action? He decided it was so. “I am very glad to be here Professor Dumbledore.”